Darren Fucking Criss!
by GleeGay5510
Summary: A fictional story of a gay kid growing up in a cruel word who would never think of risking himself by being with someone, and one very handsome Darren Criss. *trust me this story isn't as cheesy as it sounds* Rated M for later on and there will also be JYDER later on so yeah.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"Pussy!" I yelled.

"I am what I eat aren't I?" He scoffed.

It was totally uncalled for and I had every reason to be ma- no, outraged. How did it get like this? I guess I should start from the beginning.

Middle school was never easy. Being basically the only gay kid isn't easy. I used my quick thinking and wits, unlike everyone else, to get by. I have to say, it was hardly living. Every word from everyone was some hate filled word. I tried telling, but it only fueled peoples' un-acceptance tenfold. I guess I could thank my best friend, Sami, for stopping me from ending myself. She's funny, smart, and beautiful. I'm also pretty good looking, but it's not like anyone cared. If I wasn't with Sami I was at the gym building my confidence through exercise it was kind of an outlet, other than singing, but I would drop dead if anyone heard me.

My name is Bay Paxton by the way… Everyone knew my name, I didn't want them to, but it couldn't be helped. Like I said, Sami was smart and B-E-A-utiful, she was a cheerleader and one of the most popular kids in school, if not the most. She was partly the reason why people wouldn't hurl flaming bags of poop towards my head. And my ass. I couldn't really describe it words, but one thing is for certain, it was/is a looker. It was the kind of butt that you just wanted to squeeze, gay or straight. It was for certain my best feature. Sami's was her almost full grown body for a thirteen year old.

Anyway, here I was… staring… at someone, I'm not crazy, well, not entirely. He was definitely cute. Cuter than most and a personality that could melt someone's heart… Or at least that's what I though… I've never actually heard him talk, but I have heard him sing. His milky, soft voice could make me quiver, but I wouldn't show it, after all, he is straight, right? His name was Darren Criss, or still is I mean, names don't change, often. Actually, most of the characters in this story didn't change, look wise. He was so handsome, is it weird that I just wanted to listen to his voice forever, of course not.

This was on a Monday by the way. I'm not the most descriptive person, so I'll just copy twilight. He was sitting alone, on the bleacher with only his guitar in hand and an open soul. My breath hitched as I nervously watched him play. The cold 7:15 air stretched through the entire school and nobody was around. Only him and I. I watched his pink lips move slowly and the voice of angles come out from between them. It was a song I never knew, but one I would remember for ages- too cheesy?

Anyways, he was sitting up on the bleachers alone. I really had not one clue to the song he was singing, but It sounded good, it always did. I wanted to sing along, but A, I had no idea what he was singing, and B, I was staring at him from behind a bush at 7:15 in the morning soooo no.

He then started to sing… a different song, a song I knew well. _Teenage Dream_. I heard from Sami, who knows him a little that that song is his signature and he sings it perfectly. Now was my chance. I would sing along with him and he will notice me and fall in love me when. I took one step out from the bush, silently, and then carefully with the other foot… I tripped over a rock and fell face-first onto the cold concrete. I was knocked out.

Moments later I heard the voice of someone freaking out. It was a sort of, unfamiliar, voice. I opened my eyes slow, as if it was some sort of fairytale, but this prince wasn't going to get kissed. The face above me was amazing. Soft looking pink lips, dark black, wavy, hair, and big brown eyes.

"Motherfucker!" I yelled when the pain from the fall hit. I was kind of embarrassed of cussing in front of him, but felt a little better when I saw him smile. I really wanted to press my face against his face and make herpes, but I guess now that wasn't the time. I was in the bathroom, I didn't' know how I got there, but I assumed Darren brought me there. He was holding a wet paper towel over my face and for the first time, I was happy my school wasn't progressive enough to get the air driers instead of the tree-killing paper. It's not like I actually, cared about trees, but everyone needs to be pissed about something, it's just the way the world works and why I didn't hate everyone for being such assholes. It was the way they were raised.

"You hit your head pretty hard," Darren said with a warm smile, not literally, but figuratively for all the stupid people, "I mean, I assume, because you yelled motherfucker in a school bathroom, lucky for you it was only me the principal's son who heard you?"

"What? Really?" I said.

"I'm fucking with you," he said loudly.

I wish what he said was really true, not figuratively.

"Well, thanks for the save… I should go um; wait in front of my classroom before class starts."

"You don't hang out with anyone before school?"

Does he seriously not know who I am?

"No, I don't, but yeah, thanks," I said and the walked away.

"Wait, I can't let you just be all depressed, you can hang out with me," he said and then pulled me away with his hand, on my hand….. Holy Jesus!

_This is just a dream, a dream_, I thought to myself as he pulled me through groups of people. Everyone gave me dirty looks, but for the first time, I was happy to see them. I felt like I won. I didn't.

Moments later Darren brought me to a group of people. They looked pretty nice, no wait, that's just what they look like before they turn into bitches. It was four guys and two girls.

"Okay," Darren began, "Alex, then Ryan, then Andrew, then Matthew and his girlfriend Keke, and lastly my girlfriend Victoria… Oh and my name is Darren"

Darren extended his hand towards me and just as I was about to shake it, Victoria grabbed his and put it around her neck. Bitch. I didn't know Alex, Ryan, or Andrew, but I knew the other three. Matthew and Keke were basically the campaign managers for Victoria's never ending quests to make my life miserable.

"Darren, babe," Victoria said and I cringed, "You know my policy against fags."

I guess someone cared about my feelings.

"Whoa!" Darren said, "You're the guy?"

"I guess," I said trying to hold back tears, "Bye Darren."

"Bye?" He said, "You just got here, and maybe I can fix the problem you two have. I mean, know that I know you maybe I can help," He said with a concerned expression.

"What is there to fix, obviously, he likes it when we 'talk' to him," Keke said.

"Keke quit being a cunt," Alex said, "I know you already know, but I'm Alex. I'm sorry for her, she really is nice, but she is kind of particular."

"No worries," I said, "I was already planning to leave."

"The closet?" Matthew said which was followed by laughter from the other two.

"Bye…. Wait, what's your name?" Darren said.

I just walked away. I'm still human aren't I. Assholes. I didn't cry though. I didn't want to see them being satisfied by my tears. They're monsters. Every one of them.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Note: I found the name Chris wayyyyyyyy too generic so I'm going with a different one, Bay Paxton. Unique and I like it!**_

Chapter 2

"My life is ruined! I have to kill myself," is what Sami said as soon as she sat next to me at lunch.

"That's new, what's up?" I asked, not as sincerely as she would've liked, but she takes what she can get.

"Well, _World War Z_ just came out and my parents won't let me see it because it's rated R," she said wiping a fake tear from her eyes.

"You hate zombies," I said.

"Yeah, gross complexion, but any movie with Brad is good enough for me."

"Well, I guess this is goodbye," I said patting her on the back, "I would pray for you, but dogs don't go to heaven, movies lie."

"Har har har," she scoffed, "How's being alone?"

"How's being _Sixteen and Pregnant's_ poster hoe."

"At least it isn't as bad as the infamy you gain here."

"True that. So Sami, besides not seeing Brad Pitt, what's been going on?"

"The usual, convincing Victoria that there's nothing wrong with gays at cheerleading practice," she said coolly.

"How did that go?" I said sarcastically.

"The same as always. Weird though, she seemed more pissed that usual today."

"I had a sort of, discussion with her this morning. I also fully introduced me to her boyfriend."

"Darren?" she asked, "He's cute… What did you guys talk about?"

"I couldn't concentrate, he's just that cute. I actually don't think he knows my name."

"He knows your name," Sami scoffed, "Everyone does. Too bad he's straight… just my type."

"Like either of us have the slightest chance with him anyway, he has Victoria."

"Why is it that every evil bitch in every movie has the name Victoria?"

"It seems right, either that or personal experience."

"We could murder her."

"That's not as satisfying, trust me, I would have done it the second I saw her."

"Yeah, I agree, that bitch beats me at everything, schoolwork, cheerleading captain, more friends, I just want to snap her pretty little neck."

"I know… What does Darren even see in her?"

"She's pretty, smart, has big tits for a middle school girls, and the tightest Va-jay-jay in history."

"Yeah, but he's never even seen her vag…"

"Maybe, her whole 'worship Jesus' this is so overrated, she seems just as fake as any other bitch. It just looks like she'll always win."

"Maybe there is a way to take her down… The social ladder is very fragile, and most middle school kids are in their idiotic 'in-betweener' phase. The way I see it is that Victoria is at the top, under her are the jocks, and below that are the regular follower type kids. Under that are the kids who don't care and are very neutral, under that are the loners and the artists that co-exist with the nerds and geeks. Below that are the losers. Sami, you hang right below. Let's think, before Darren was with Victoria he was a loser and always hung out with only his guitar and focused on his music. Maybe if we remind Darren of his music we can get him to become a loser and join our side. Then with both of your fragments of popularity, we can join the nerds and geeks and destroy the top of the pyramid."

"I want to crack that bitch's ankles with a led pipe."

"Okay then… we just first have to single out Darren."

"How do we do that? He's ALWAYS with Victoria."

"I've got it! In the mornings he hangs out by himself on the bleachers."

"Nice! I'll try to make Victoria as busy as possible so she can't be with Darren."

After school that day I made sure to watch Darren's movements. Not like a stalker or anything, but it was for a good cause so in the end it would be okay. He walked home. It wasn't very surprising mainly because he also sang on his way home. The way he sang made me quiver… again! I followed and followed and realized he didn't live in any place… special. It was damn near ghetto. Like on the fence line of ghetto. He then walked up to a small house. I couldn't think of any other words, but quaint. There was a wide-eyed black guy that looked… rape-y It creeped me out. Darren opened the door to the house and then stopped before entering.

"Want to come in?" he asked doing a complete 360 and catching me off-guard.

I froze; I guess I wasn't as sneaky as I thought… Damn video games! I can only blame them for their lack of sneaky teaching.

"Are you just going to stand there?" he asked, "White boys around here don't leave without stab wounds."

I chuckled, "Sure."

The inside of the house was much more beautiful than I thought. Decorative paintings, big TV's, pottery, and nice paint done on the walls. It was surprising Darren hasn't been robbed yet.

"Are you hungry?" he asked walking towards his refrigerator.

"No thank you."

"So why were you following me?" he asked with a grin.

"I um… needed to ask you about homework."

"We don't have any classes together."

"Right, um, where are your parents?" I asked changing the subject.

"Work." He answered, "And if you're asking why I live in a neighborhood like this is because of my dad. He wants me to focus on being a man and not a musician, two different things apparently. He says that fear is the way he was introduced to manhood and wants the best experience for me. So now, if were being robbed my dad would let us die before protecting us instead of me."

"Obviously the answer to this problem is to shank the next guy who stands in front of your door. If he's black it's believable."

"Normal people hate racist jokes… I'm not normal," he said with an even bigger grin.

"Cute," I said, "Toot! I mean, where's the bathroom?"

"Down the hall to my left and the take a right."

I ran to the bathroom and sat on the toilet. Instinctually, I texted Sami.

_Me- I'm at Darren's house…_

_Sami- Horny bastard._

_Me- Trust me that's not what I want right now…_

_Sami- I know you're lying. I can just tell that in a few seconds you're going to rub your man meat in his face and get kicked out._

_ Me- Where'd you learn that one? Clown school? I guess, it explains why your makeup looks like THAT every day._

_ Sami- Well, what's your plan, slut._

_ Me- I don't know, I just kind of followed him to his house._

_ Sami- You really are a horny bastard._

_ Me- He's really cool though._

_ Sami- Like jump on his dick cool?_

_ Me- Sure, why not :P_

_ Sami- Well, I have to go, Victoria calls._

_ Me- You shouldn't have ever became a cheerleader._

I was nervous, scared, and in total bliss. Outside of the bathroom door I could play his guitar. It was a song I recognized… _Stay_ by the queen slut and that other guy. I quickly flushed the empty toilet and washed my hands and then opened the bathroom door carefully. He was in the room directly across.

**Darren**_**-**_ **All along it was fever**

He strummed delicately. The song sounded so much better when he sang it.

**Darren**_**- **_**A cold sweat hot-headed believer. I threw my hands in the air, said "Show me something." He said, "If you dare, come a little closer."**

** Darren- Round and around and around and around we go. Oh oh, now tell me now tell me now tell me now you know.**

** Darren- Not really sure how to feel about it, something in the way you move, makes me feel like I can't live without you, it takes me all the way, I want you stay.**

Now was my chance to show him. I thought that maybe if I could sing too, it would win me some affection from him at least a little. I opened the door slowly and right before he was about to start I began.

**Me- It's not much of a life you're living. It's not just something you take, it's given.**

** Me- Round and around and around we go. Oh Oh, now tell me now tell me now tell me now you know. Not really sure how to feel about it. Something in the way you move. Makes me feel like I can't live without you, it takes me all the way. I want you to stay.**

** Darren- Oh, oh oh.**

** Darren & I- The reason I hold on**

** Me- Oh, oh oh.**

** Darren & I- I need this hold gone. Funny you're the broken one, but I'm the only one who needed saving. Cause' when you never see the light it's hard to know which one o is caving.**

** Darren- Not really sure how to feel about it, something in the way you move.**

** Darren & I- Makes me feel like I can't live without you, it takes me all the way, I want you to stay.**

** Darren- Stay…**

** Me- Stay…**

** Darren & I- I want you to stay…**

_What just happened!?_ I thought. It was insane and a moment of passion and great music if I say so myself. And at that moment I thought for one second, I could fuck everything up… and I did… He basically lunged forward and planted one on his lips. I thought it would end in like two seconds, but it didn't stop. It was my first kiss too, so I was probably more confused about the whole process then he was. It was good, but freaky… He put his tongue in my mouth and swirled it with mine. My first thought was, gross. Two slimy, wet tongues being pressed together in a medley of confused passion. It was like riding _Medusa,_ but only the beginning part where your feel like you're flying. So I guess flying was the sensation. It was nice and pretty calm, okay not very calm.

Darren was moaning. It was weird and it felt as if we were doing something more than we actually were. I was on top of him and it felt kind of good. He was wrapping his legs around my waist and had one hand going around my hair and another on my back that was sliding down to the danger zone. Then it got even more PG-13. He started dry humping me and saying words like 'yeah' under his breath. It felt so uncomfortable, but didn't top the hand that was squeezing my right ass cheek. I used one of my hands to slowly grab his and pull it off. Instantly Darren stopped.

"Sorry," he said, worriedly.

It was so adorable that I couldn't help, but smile. It was like looking at an adorable child and just wanting him to do things to me. Not the little kid! I meant Darren if it came out that way.

"Umm, it's cool, just not there," I said sounding like a little virgin bitch.

"I shouldn't have, sorry, if you want to leave… you can."

Here came the moment of conscience. I guess I was more vulnerable and letting the kiss continue could turn out horrible for me. It was obviously the stupid thing to do.

"I have a little time," I said continuing the kiss.

I'm an idiot!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"What the fuck have I done?" I said rolling out of bed the next morning.

I was nervous about the confrontation I was going to have with Darren. I just hope he won't call. Is this what it's like to be a drunk college girl? I paced nervously, still in my underwear. I had to think of the positives. For one thing today was Saturday so I wouldn't be able to see the aftermath of my obvious mistake on Monday. I had no other choice, but to invite Sami over.

"What's the sitch?" she said upon arriving at my house.

"Please," I said opening the front door for her, "I don't need Kim Possible quotes right now I'm at the danger zone!"

"Danger zone? Boy trouble."

"Exactly!"

Sami took my hand and rushed me to my room upstairs quickly and silently enough so as not to wake my parents. She then threw me in my room and locked the door.

"Alright," she said, "Explain."

"So, I guess, from where I left off I was in the bathroom. Darren was singing all awesome and I went in and kissed him."

"How many seconds did it take for him to throw you into the wall and punch you in the face?"

"That's the weird part! He let the kiss continue. He definitely wanted it."

"Seriously?"

"Yes, and he even tried to touch my moneymaker."

"Did you let him? Cause' he'd be the first."

"No, but I did sound a little virgin-y."

"I'm sure he's also a virgin."

"I know that, but the way I told him to stop touching was a major turn off, at least if that were to happen to me I would be pretty flaccid."

"Okay, okay, what happened next?"

"We kissed for like five minutes and then his dad came home. So, I gave him my number and left."

"Your number? Really? What are you, some college skank?"

"I don't know the protocol for make out sessions; you're usually the only one I know who actually has them."

"What was going through your head when this was happening?"

"Slow Dance by Keri Hilson."

"Sexy song."

"In my head it was definitely more than making out, and for him too."

"And what was your reason to not go primal and tear his clothes off?"

"I'm thirteen…"

"Right..."

"What do I do know?"

"DTR, duh."

"Of course I need to DTR, but what if he denies everything we do and makes me look like an idiot!"

"Your reputation couldn't possibly get worse."

"That's exactly what I need right now."

"Anyway, Bay, do you have the spare clothes I left here?"

"Yeah, they're in a drawer in my closet."

Sometimes I feel like if I really was straight and pretended to be gay I would be really happy. Mainly because Sami really liked to take her clothes off and she liked a 'gays' opinion on her body.

"I feel like my butt is sagging a little," she said looking at her ass in the mirror in my room.

"You're thirteen; it's not going to sag for a while."

"Easy for you to say, you have an ass made by the gods."

The weekend went by fast. Sami spent the night over and we spent the whole night talking about what guys and girls at our school who were probably in the closet.

"Jacob," she said slowly.

"Jacob? Artist? He's black, black people can't be gay, it's impossible."

"I've seen him stare at your derrière from time to time."

"When? When does this happen?"

"Well, when you're at my cheer practices and he's also there, Perv. He often stares at you and then has this look of guilt. My guess is that he comes to see you, but convinces himself that he is there for the cheerleaders."

"Maybe, hey, so do you think Darren really is gay…"

"He could be Bi."

"You and I both know that doesn't exist."

"Well, what do you think he felt during your kiss?"

"He was definitely dry humping me. He was really into the kiss too. To me, it felt like I was kissing magic… It was nice. It was a good first kiss. He didn't pull away after all so I think he liked it."

"Maybe you really do have a shot with him."

"Maybe…"

The next day I was nervous. It was Monday and the day I would confront Darren. I had to go to him. Fear would no longer dominate me. I still couldn't talk though. Okay, yes, fear was a little hard to dominate, but I could to it differently. Singing, it came to me, I could sing my feelings. It was a great way to communicate without having to actually focus on what I'm saying, but more on the lyrics.

Well, my song couldn't be any cheesier and my presentation was about to be horrid, but I was just a kid then, I mean, I'm not that much older now, but still. So in the morning before school, I, Bay Paxton went to the bleachers with an old stereo and played _Kissing You_ by Miranda Cosgrove.

**Bay: Sparks fly, it's like electricity, I might die when I forget how to breath, you get closer and there's nowhere in this world I'd rather be. Time stops, like everything around me is frozen and nothing matters, but these few moments when you open my mind to things I've never seen.**

Within seconds the words flowed off my tongue vibrantly. Darren's response was utter confusion, but whatever. Then he did what I hadn't expected. He grabbed his guitar and started strumming along.

**Darren and I: When I'm kissing you my senses come alive, almost like the puzzle piece, I've been trying to find, falls right into place you're all that I taste my doubts fade away when I'm kissing you. When I'm kissing you it all starts making sense and all the questions I've been asking in my head, like are you the one, should I really trust, crystal clear it becomes when I'm kissing you.**

"What the fuck just happened?" I asked even more confused than Darren was initially.

"Music just happened," he said with a goofy smile.

"I don't understand…"

"Well, that puts you at the same level of understanding as me."

"Okay we need to DTR."

"DTR?"

"Define The Relationship," I said surprised that he had no idea what that meant.

"That's kind of what I was thinking about this entire weekend."

"So what have you come up with…?" I said sitting next to him on the bleachers.

"I don't know if I am gay, but… I can be swayed," he said with a sly smile.

"This is actually really serious. This is your whole sexual orientation!"

"Well, for all I know, is that I like kissing you and Victoria… maybe I'm Bi."

"That doesn't exist."

"What are you talking about?"

"Being Bi, that's not actually rule, make up your mind."

"Whatever."

"So, what now?"

"I don't know… I think I have to think a little while."

"Well, don't take too long…"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I think Darren thinking is taking a lot more of a toll on me than him. I got a fucking B on a World History test, like what the fuck. Anyway, it didn't even seem like he was even thinking about it. It seemed like he was comparing the taste of my mouth with Victoria's… a lot. I was certain it was someway of convincing his sexuality was "normal". Then it hits me. TALENT SHOW. Every year near the end of school there's a talent show. The prize is to perform at the fair for like several days and get paid twenty bucks a day for it. The real prize is seeing Darren in his new job as a vendor. They take anyone, legal, or not.

So as I was saying, talent show. It's the most brutal time of the year. Worse than any AP exam or final. For some reason I was put into the school where the most talented people alive studied. Where every fat black girl sounded like Etta James or every white kid could perform the shit out of any Grease number. Victoria's voice was sent from heaven and so was Sami's. I know I can sing… a little, but I know it's not lack of confidence. I tried the talent show in elementary school. I got dead last and guess who got first? Victoria. Victoria, Victoria, Victoria. She didn't get the title queen bitch for nothing.

Victoria is a bitch who is also: Popular, smart, attractive, perky, talented, fashionable, confident, funny, a great cook, physically fit… and the list goes on. It's not like I ever intended to compete with her, that bitch could stomp me. No, I stay in the back where no one can find me, but lately it seems like Victoria used her amazing geographical skills to make a map.

Even though Victoria seems like my nemesis, she's not. That is Sami's turf. Since preschool Sami was always an outgoing and charismatic person. She was the most popular in school until Victoria moved to town. She stole Sami's popularity and left her in the dust. It's been that way for years. When Victoria spread childish rumors about Sami I was the only one who would defend her. It kind of feels like Sami protects me now is because she owes me some kind of debt, and her hatred for Victoria.

Oops, I guess I got kind of sidetracked… Anyway, this year Victoria would compete again, with Darren. I guess I wasn't the only one to see how musically talented Darren is and was. There was no way I could compete against both of them. Maybe if I could just get Darren to join me… So the next day I decide to speak with Darren.

"Hey Darren, how's the food?" I asked.

"Cafeteria food always tastes disgusting, and if this really is about my decision, I'm still thinking."

"No, not all, I just wanted to ask if you would maybe, collaborate with me for the talent show."

"I can't… I'm performing with Victoria, plus, have you heard her? She's amazing."

"As amazing as a cunt could ever be," I muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing…" I said walking away. This time I was pissed. Really, pissed. I didn't want to sing with Darren… I wanted to kick his talented ass to the curb, but two against one just isn't fair. I needed help.

"Bitch I need you!" I said taking a seat near Sami at the lunch table.

"Sure, just don't ask me to kidnap Darren," She said happily.

"I need you to sing with me for the talent show."

"No, I'm so done competing with Victoria. I always lose, no matter what."

"That doesn't sound like you. Plus, I'm going to help you."

"While I admire your sudden confidence boost, and your willingness to come out of the musical closet, I can't."

"What if we lose? Nothing. Guess what happens if we actually win?"

"I get to witness the smug bitch's first loss with anything. I'm in…. what are we going to sing though? I'm sure Victoria picked a song that appeals to every person in the universe."

"It'll take some thinking, but I'm sure we'll come up with something."

So the day past. I was still occupied on Darren's thoughts, although I knew it would be grim for me. I also had to think about the talent show which, after careful contemplation, was decided as a bad idea. I had no further need for the talent show. I couldn't win him over no matter how hard I tried. I just needed to come to terms with it… but this isn't present day Bay… this is Bay, who barely turned thirteen… Stupid, stupid young Bay.

So the day concluded and I was on my way home. My home is pretty, suburban, white I guess you could say. The perfect exterior masked the truly ugly interior. My family consists of my parents and my two brothers. It would be no stretch to say that I hate them, with a passion. Catholic raised and rainbow haters are kind of what they're known for. When I came out last year they took… lengths to convince me I was straight, but it was more like they were convincing themselves. Since then I've been baptized eight times and have gone to two church retreats. My brothers… well, my brother, is an idiot. He blindly follows anyone and that obviously includes my parents. If it were his choice, however, I would be sacrificed. My other brother is… neutral. He minds his own business and hardly notices me. Therefore I have no problems with him. He isn't exactly on the family's catholic bandwagon, but that could just be because he's seventeen and pretty rebellious. Just the other week he snuck out of class to go smoke weed. My parents were obviously outraged, but I couldn't help but laugh.

I opened the door slowly and hoped no one would notice me. It's best that way. I slowly walked inside and closed the door slowly behind me, but I was suddenly caught off-guard when I heard my mom's voice.

"Come inside dear, we have a visitor," she said… "Dear" I haven't heard that in quite a while, we must have someone special here. I took her bait. I should've ran out, gone to the nearest gun store, bought a gun, waited seven days, and then blasted myself through the head. I heard her voice again and walked slowly into the living room where she, my father, and… a priest were sitting.

I got the same facial reaction from him that everyone else gives me. My butt isn't that big… but it makes an entrance. I guess most people assume I'm gay because of it, because otherwise what would I use it for… storing nuts for the winter? No. People really need to stop spreading that damn rumor… only once dammit.

Anyone there he sat… our local priest, yet, I can't remember his name. I think it was like Dave or Dale… I don't know I'll just call him Dave. So Dave is very "active" in the gay community. And by active I mean gathering a whole mess of Catholics and badgering the shit out gays. He's gone to jail twice for saying some offensive things to a happy lesbian couple down the street. And I quote this, "This institution must be shut down! If even now I cannot do God's work then what was become of this world!" Is what he said before being hauled off to prison.

"Hello," I said extending a hand out to him. He immediately pulled out a water bottle labeled "holy water" and lathered his hands in the contents before shaking my hand. Of course.

"This is father Dave," my father said, "He serves the lord at _Garden of God_'s church."

"He wants to talk to you about your decisions lately, and how they can affect your future." My mom added quickly.

"Yes," Dave said, "Your parents told me much about you and how much you've changed. You know, if you are feeling like you need to rebel in any way, this isn't the right one."

"The please, father Dave, enlighten me," I said sarcastically. My parents shot me a look, but father Dave didn't understand sarcasm I guess and though I was genuinely interested in what he was saying.

"Being gay," he began, and note I was already ready to go and do the gun plan, "Is the worst choice you could ever make." My mother nodded and extended her hand towards my father.

"How so?" I said pretending to be enthralled by the conversation.

"It is a sin against God to lay with another man."

"Really, is it? I never knew, thank you so much for your words father, I will no longer be gay; see you at church or something." I quickly got up, but my father grabbed me by the shoulder and yanked me down.

"Listen to what he says," he said with a tone that was in between Calm and angry.

"Yes, and did you know that if you're gay you go to hell?" he continued.

"Oh, wow, how bad of me," I said twiddling my thumbs.

"Yes very bad, and your parents and I have talked for a while. There's a place."

Oh no!

"Where God heals the sick."

Fuck me!

"Where other people like you have come out changed."

Kill me please, someone, I could really use that gun right now.

"For the better. It's only two weeks, and we've also spoken with your teachers and have gotten all of your homework in advance. It's all set. It's basically summer camp, but during school time and you can befriend so many others who have your problem too."

Anyone!


End file.
